Nevablah

Day 2 of the epic road trip is coming to a close, and we're sitting in a grossly overpriced Travelodge, watching King of The Hill, and drinking red wine out of bathroom cups. Linda won't stop going on about La Quinta, the best place on earth, apparently. There was just an ad reaffirming her belief. And we're frighteningly close to the bed of the enemy: we drove around a mostly empty Brigham Young University tonight, and saw two SHAMELESS DEVILS walking around holding hands like sick perverts. We should have thrown water at them to cool down their teen hormones! At least I can sleep knowing THEY won't occupy one of the coveted 149,000 seats in heaven.
Speaking of which, being this close to Salt Lake City has to be how Samwise and Frodo felt as they approached Mordor.
Las Vegas was...you know, gross. Fat. Even the skinny girls had fat, distended bellies like starving Rwandans. Of course, it didn't help that my allergies were actually a sinus infection in disguise, and I took about four various types of sleep-inducing allergy pills that left me incapable of watching the conclusion of Sister Act, although I did catch True Blood and UGH how can they do that to Eric?
Today we went to the Museum of The Lost City, which was named after some Anasazi ruins that were supposed to be lost when the Hoover Dam was built, but actually weren't submerged soooo they're not really lost, which is okay because most of the museum was dedicated to the history of how the museum was built.
Nevada is heinous. I can barely stand the idea of Texas after the eight hours or so I spent crossing the vacant, horrid space of Nevada. Almost immediately upon crossing into Arizona, it was gorgeous gorges, because mother nature fucking hates Nevada and shuns it. Here are some observations about the American landscape so far: almost every tiny, shitty town has nothing in it but housing developments and devices to further eradicate nature in the name of trailer trash. What a cause!
Utah is gorgeous, but, of course, it's Zion. Tomorrow we're on to Yellowstone, and I am going to hug a baby bear and be gored by a buffalo.
Pictures to come